too bad you live with your parents still
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
