Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
