wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
