i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
