Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize