brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Randomize
