I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
