Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
