I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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