I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
