You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
