She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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