Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize