If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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