I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize