I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize