i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
