oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
