wat bout pragnant strippers??
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
