She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
