I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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