you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
