Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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