is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
