"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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