Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
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Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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