Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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