Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
