The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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