Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
