omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
