The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize