And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
