Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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