Do vagina's smell?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
