All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
