i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
