She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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