East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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