I CAN MOONWALK!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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