My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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