As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
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i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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