She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
