Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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