just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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