nut hugger
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm too high and old for this...
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