I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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