Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
