Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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