thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's never too late to be topless.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
