People in love make me want to vomit
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
