party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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