I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
