i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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