sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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