escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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