thus making me awesome and them whores
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
