I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize