you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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